How to Teach Kids to Be Smart About Strangers?

One of the biggest fears amongst Indian parents is child abduction,but that is not the thing happening, there are lots of other things like sexual harassment,harming the child etc.

"Don't talk to strangers" has been the rule for many parents for generations. But sometimes it's a good idea for kids to talk to strangers. Who else will they turn to if they're lost and need help?

So, instead of making a rule, it's better to teach kids when it's appropriate to talk to strangers and when it is not. When your kids are out with you, it's fine to let them say hello and talk to new people. You are watching the situation and will protect them.

But if your child is alone and approached by a stranger, that's a different story. Tell your kids that if a stranger ever approaches and offers a ride or treats (like candy or toys) or asks for help with a task (like helping find a lost dog), they should step away, yell "No!" and leave the area immediately. Your child should tell you or another trusted adult (like a teacher or childcare worker) what happened. The same goes if anyone — whether a stranger, family member, or friend — asks your child to keep a secret, tries to touch your child's private area, or asks your child to touch theirs.

Most kids are likely to be wary of strangers who are mean-looking or appear scary in some way. But most child molesters and abductors are regular-looking people, and many go out of their way to look friendly, safe, and appealing to children. So, instead of judging a person by appearance, teach kids to judge people by their actions.

It's also important to encourage kids to trust their own instincts. Teach them that if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or if they feel like something's just not right — even if they can't explain why — they need to walk away immediately.

So, what happens if your kids are alone and need to approach a stranger for help? First, they should try to find a person in uniform, like a police officer, security guard, or store employee. If there are no uniformed people, look for grandparents, women, and people with children who may be able to help. And again, remind them about instincts: If they don't have a good feeling about a certain person, they should approach someone else.

Some of the words used by the strangers to kidnap them         The “kidnappers” used phrases that are very popular and should’ve alerted anyone that heard them: 

•   “Let me buy you some candy?” 
•   “Let’s go feed the pigeons?”
•   “There are squirrels running around. Let’s go see?”
•   “Your father asked me to bring you to him. 
•   Let’s go!”Some of the most effective methods are requests to help some small kittens or puppies. 
•  Some criminals often pretend to be policemen, doctors, or firefighters.

It's not possible to protect kids from strangers at all times. But it is possible to teach them about appropriate behaviors and what to do if somebody crosses the line. Keeping these tips in mind can help your kids stay safe while they're out and about. 

Here are some things we can do to help our kids be safe:

For a child age 1 and up

• Teach them their name and their parents’ name(s)
• Under three years old, I don’t talk about “tricky people” or “bad people.” But, if I am in a situation where I feel uncomfortable, I show it with my body language, and I tell my child “I don’t like being here… I don’t feel safe right now. We’re going to leave.” Even at this age, I want to start teaching them to trust their instincts.
• Tell them they need to stay near you when you’re out in public, set boundaries – tell them where it’s OK to go and what’s not OK. If they step outside those limits, or refuse to hold your hand in a parking lot, or whatever guidelines you have set, then there should be consequences (e.g. you need to leave the park, or you need to carry them in the parking lot.)
• When going anyplace where you might become separated, put your contact info somewhere on them (e.g. on a card in their pocket, on a bracelet, etc.). Also, take a picture of them that day with your phone so if you become separated you have a photo of what they look like and they are wearing.
• Teach healthy touch: high fives and fist bumps, patting on the back, brief hugs, etc. Don’t force your child to give a hug to someone if they are not comfortable.
• Teach them names for their body parts, including private parts. It is best to use commonly used terms (e.g. penis or vagina), not family euphemisms. Feeling comfortable with these words makes it possible for a child to explain if something inappropriate happens. (Learn more.)
• You should always know the basic description of your child at all ages, so if they are missing, you can tell searchers: how tall they are, how much they weigh, piercings, tattoos, birthmarks. Take good head and shoulder pictures at least every 6 months (every 3 months for young children.       

 For a child age 3 and up:

• Everything listed above, plus:
• Be sure they know their address, parent’s names, and parent’s phone numbers.Help them know what adults you trust. Tell them: “if you ever feel scared or need help, then ____ and _____ are adults you can talk to.
• ”Talk to them about how to find a trustworthy stranger if they somehow become separated from you and need help. You could teach to look for a police officer, but they’re rarely around. So, I also tell my children to look for a person who is working there – I help them identify workers – they’re standing behind the check-out counter, or they’re wearing a uniform. I also tell them they could go to another parent – someone who has a child with them. From time to time, we practice this – I ask my child to look around and identify two people who they could ask for help if needed. Also, point out “safe spots” – the places they are most likely to find helpful people.
• Talk to them about “tricky people” and what behaviors are red flags. Don’t try to cover it all in one big “talk” – it should be an on-going dialogue.
• If your child is uncomfortable around someone and wants to avoid that person, don’t dismiss this. Respect your child’s instincts.
• If you go somewhere you might get separated (the zoo, an amusement park, a large event), talk to them on the way there about the importance of staying close to you the whole time. Tell them that if they look around and can’t find you, they should stop where they are and you will find them.
• By the time they are three, teach them that the parts of their body that are covered by a swimsuit are private. They should be kept covered around other people, and other people should not touch them there, except for parents or caregivers who are briefly helping to clean them, or a doctor, when the parents are in the room.
• Don’t label your child’s clothes or backpacks with their name in big, visible letters. “Tricky” adults often use a child’s name to convince the child they are safe.

As your child gets older, and more independent:

• Everything listed above, plus 
• They should know contact info for multiple trusted adults, and have a plan for how they could contact them. (For a younger child who doesn’t have a cell phone, they should know how to seek adult help. For older kids with phones, they need plans for what to do if their phone battery dies.)
• If going someplace  you may get separated, have a plan in advance for where you would meet up again. Make sure they can describe it to you, and from time to time, ask them “do you remember where our meet-up place is? Can you point to where it is?”
• A responsible adult should always know where they are. Set boundaries on where they can go, ask that they check in with you from time to time, and require that they check in if their plans change.
• In the places they frequent, they should be able to list “safe spots” where they could go for help if they were feeling worried – for example, if someone at the park was making them uncomfortable, they could go into the nearby convenience store. They should also know to avoid unsafe spots – isolated areas with no one around.
• They should know how and in what circumstances to call emergency number.
• They should know never to answer the door when they are home alone.
• They should know never to approach a stranger’s car. If someone calls them over to a car, they should not go.
• When out and about, they should use the buddy system, not go places alone.
• If someone offers them money, or an easy job, they should be wary.
• Consider a family password so that if you ever could need to send an unexpected adult to pick them up in case of emergency, your child could ask that adult for the password to be sure it’s really someone you sent. You could also use that code word or another one for your child to communicate to you “I’m feeling unsafe and I need your help.
• ”Tell them to trust their instincts. If they’re worried about something, they should talk to you or another trusted adult who can help them problem-solve. If they’re very frightened, they should call emergency number or shout for help. Tell them it is better to seek help and find out that everything is actually OK than it is to not seek help when things really are bad.
• Give kids examples of “tricky behavior”; have them describe how they would respond.
• Don’t talk about “bad touch” because sometimes sexual touch can feel good or can “tickle.” Instead, talk about “secret touch” that the other person wants you to hide from people, or touch that makes them feel wrong after it happened. Let children know that if anyone ever touches them in an inappropriate way (or makes the child touch them), that it’s not the child’s fault and they will not be in trouble with you. Perpetrators may first involve children by showing them pornography – let your child know that if someone shows them pornography, they should let you know.
• Explain that you’re teaching safety rules because they are more mature and ready to be responsible. You want to give them more freedom, but you also need to be reassured that they know how to stay safe.

©Dr.SHEBIN C E

For Consultation :- https://www.practo.com/kanyakumari/doctor/dr-shebin-c-e-paediatrics