Helicopter - Parenting.

What Is Helicopter Parenting? 

          Helicopter parenting refers to "a style of parents who are overly focused on their children,". They typically take too much responsibility for their children's experiences and, specifically, their success and failures. In simple words involved in a child's life in a way that is overcontrolling, overprotecting and over perfecting, in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting." 

How to Parents behave in Helicopter Parenting?  

Helicopter parenting can apply at any age of children. In toddlerhood, a helicopter parent might constantly shadow the child, always playing with and directing his behavior, allowing him zero alone time. In elementary school, helicopter parents may ensure a child gets a certain teacher or coach, select the child's friends and activities, or providing disproportionate help for homework and school projects. In high school or college-aged students with tasks they’re capable of doing alone but the parents do their homework, helping them in wearing cloths, choosing cloths for them etc. 

Why do Parents do this? 

1. Fear of dire consequences:

2.      Parents might fear my child may have a low grade in class, rejection from the school, fear of unhappiness of the child, struggle, not excelling in class etc.  

2. Feelings of anxiety:        

3.         Worry about the poor performance of the child, anxiety of the child injury, about the future, job etc. Worry can drive parents to take control in the belief that they can keep their child from ever being hurt or disappointed  

3. Overcompensation: 

4.         Adults who felt unloved, neglected, or ignored as children can overcompensate with their own children. Excessive attention and monitoring are attempts to remedy a deficiency the parents felt in their own upbringing.  

4. Peer pressure from other parents:

5.         When moms and dads see other over-involved parents, it can trigger a similar response. "Sometimes when we observe other parents over-parenting or being helicopter parents, it will pressure us to do the same," 

    

The Effects of Helicopter Parents: - 

        Helicopter parents start off with good intentions. "It is a tricky line to find, to be engaged with our children and their lives, but not so meshed that we lose perspective on what they need," 

The helicopter parenting effects are widespread, but may include these five factors. 
 

Decreased confidence and self-esteem: 

 "The main problem with helicopter parenting is that it backfires,". "The underlying message [the parent's] over-involvement sends to kids is 'my parent doesn't trust me to do this on my own.'” This, in turn, leads to a lack of confidence. 

Undeveloped coping skills: 

 If the parent is always there to clean up a child's mess—or prevent the problem in the first place—how does the child ever learn to cope with loss, disappointment or failure? Studies have found that helicopter parenting can make children feel less competent in dealing with the stresses of life on their own. 

Increased anxiety:  

A study from the University of Mary Washington has shown that over-parenting is associated with higher levels of child anxiety and depression. 

Sense of entitlement:  

Children who have always had their social, academic, and athletic lives adjusted by their parents can become accustomed to always having their way and thus they develop a sense of entitlement. 

Undeveloped life skills:  

Parents who always tie shoes, clear plates, pack lunches, launder clothes, and monitor school progress even after children are mentally and physically capable of doing the task prevent them from mastering these skills themselves. 

How to Avoid Helicopter Parenting? 

            As parents, we have a very difficult job. We need to keep one eye on our children now their stressors, strengths', emotions and one eye on the adults we are trying to raise. Getting them from here to there involves some suffering, for our kids as well as for us."  

In practical terms, this means letting children struggle, allowing them to be disappointed, helping them to work through failure. It means letting your children do the tasks that they’re physically and mentally capable of doing. Remembering to look for opportunities to take one step back from solving our child's problems will help us build the resilient, self-confident kids we need." 

 

 

Cord Care in Newborn- Things you should know.

        Umbilical cord is an ideal substrate for bacterial growth and any infection of the cord has the potential to directly spread to the blood stream. To prevent such infection:

• All cleans should be practiced during cleaning the umbilical cord”:
  1. Clean hands, 
  2. Clean surfaces, 
  3. Clean Cloths.   
• Stump should be kept dry and nothing should be applied. 
• Nappy should be folded below the stump to avoid any soiling.
•  Application of cow drugs,ashes,etc should be not 🚫 be done
• 
  
  
  
  

Note: Dry cord care versus 70% alcohol has no statistically significant differences with regards to the occurrence of local infection, systemic disease, granuloma, bleeding. However, time of cord separation  has been found to be significant shorter in the dry cord care group. So avoid application of alcohol. 

Quick overview.

Parenting Tips to Prevent Sibling Rivalry

 

 

 

Sibling Rivalries develop when parents do not give equal importance to their children; they may unconsciously create competition and comparison between their own children that may, later on, result in major differences amongst them. It is the duty of the parents to teach their kids how to respectfully handle interpersonal relationship amongst siblings. 

Just like every problem has a solution so the sibling relation can also be enhanced through communication along with various ways being used by parents:

1. Parents themselves should stop making comparisons between their children. They have to highlight the strengths of each child and accept their weaknesses without any criticism. They should not play the card of favouritism or take sides.
2. Parents should spend individual attention to each child, by spending one to one time with each child and ask them about their personal likes and dislikes to make a special bond with the child. They can further guide them to describe the positive qualities of their siblings during a few of the interactions.
3. Whenever possible, let them settle their own differences and if required the parents should sit and resolve the differences between the siblings, especially in a contest of inequality in terms of strengths and eloquence.
4. Parents should never dismiss or suppress your children’s resentment or angry feelings. They should acknowledge and let the child guide how to ventilate that energy constructively.
5. Make the older sibling feel important, and especially teach them the concept of sharing.
6. Parents, first themselves need to express self-control and then help the child learn the same. Parents should focus more on the positive qualities of the child and appreciate for the same.
7. Parents should boost the self-esteem of their child, avoid the use of sarcasm and demotivation by all means. Parents should not label one child as intelligent and other as dull, one as slow/stupid and the other as street smart.

 

1. Parents should work as a team, and not as an individual. Parents should teach each kid to be responsible for their conduct and actions, and privileges come along with responsibilities.
2. Parents should introduce the concept of empathy to their kids, in order to make them aware of the impacts of their own behaviours towards others.
3. Parents should also teach their kids to be gender sensitive, and give respect to each other beyond that.
4. Parents should teach their kids to set their limits; they are additionally required to teach their children to respect each other irrespective of the age, avoidance of physical as well as verbal abuse.
5. When sibling rivalry becomes excessive in the form of physical or verbal violence parents should take the stand against the bully and if required take the help of a professional family counsellor.

Last but not the least, we all should work together in changing the perception of the society, believing in an equivalent treatment to both the kids, additionally, providing them with a fair share with their rights and make sure that they understand that in spite of differences between the siblings, this relationship is forever.