Helicopter - Parenting.

What Is Helicopter Parenting? 

          Helicopter parenting refers to "a style of parents who are overly focused on their children,". They typically take too much responsibility for their children's experiences and, specifically, their success and failures. In simple words involved in a child's life in a way that is overcontrolling, overprotecting and over perfecting, in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting." 

How to Parents behave in Helicopter Parenting?  

Helicopter parenting can apply at any age of children. In toddlerhood, a helicopter parent might constantly shadow the child, always playing with and directing his behavior, allowing him zero alone time. In elementary school, helicopter parents may ensure a child gets a certain teacher or coach, select the child's friends and activities, or providing disproportionate help for homework and school projects. In high school or college-aged students with tasks they’re capable of doing alone but the parents do their homework, helping them in wearing cloths, choosing cloths for them etc. 

Why do Parents do this? 

1. Fear of dire consequences:

2.      Parents might fear my child may have a low grade in class, rejection from the school, fear of unhappiness of the child, struggle, not excelling in class etc.  

2. Feelings of anxiety:        

3.         Worry about the poor performance of the child, anxiety of the child injury, about the future, job etc. Worry can drive parents to take control in the belief that they can keep their child from ever being hurt or disappointed  

3. Overcompensation: 

4.         Adults who felt unloved, neglected, or ignored as children can overcompensate with their own children. Excessive attention and monitoring are attempts to remedy a deficiency the parents felt in their own upbringing.  

4. Peer pressure from other parents:

5.         When moms and dads see other over-involved parents, it can trigger a similar response. "Sometimes when we observe other parents over-parenting or being helicopter parents, it will pressure us to do the same," 

    

The Effects of Helicopter Parents: - 

        Helicopter parents start off with good intentions. "It is a tricky line to find, to be engaged with our children and their lives, but not so meshed that we lose perspective on what they need," 

The helicopter parenting effects are widespread, but may include these five factors. 
 

Decreased confidence and self-esteem: 

 "The main problem with helicopter parenting is that it backfires,". "The underlying message [the parent's] over-involvement sends to kids is 'my parent doesn't trust me to do this on my own.'” This, in turn, leads to a lack of confidence. 

Undeveloped coping skills: 

 If the parent is always there to clean up a child's mess—or prevent the problem in the first place—how does the child ever learn to cope with loss, disappointment or failure? Studies have found that helicopter parenting can make children feel less competent in dealing with the stresses of life on their own. 

Increased anxiety:  

A study from the University of Mary Washington has shown that over-parenting is associated with higher levels of child anxiety and depression. 

Sense of entitlement:  

Children who have always had their social, academic, and athletic lives adjusted by their parents can become accustomed to always having their way and thus they develop a sense of entitlement. 

Undeveloped life skills:  

Parents who always tie shoes, clear plates, pack lunches, launder clothes, and monitor school progress even after children are mentally and physically capable of doing the task prevent them from mastering these skills themselves. 

How to Avoid Helicopter Parenting? 

            As parents, we have a very difficult job. We need to keep one eye on our children now their stressors, strengths', emotions and one eye on the adults we are trying to raise. Getting them from here to there involves some suffering, for our kids as well as for us."  

In practical terms, this means letting children struggle, allowing them to be disappointed, helping them to work through failure. It means letting your children do the tasks that they’re physically and mentally capable of doing. Remembering to look for opportunities to take one step back from solving our child's problems will help us build the resilient, self-confident kids we need."